JerkBurger

Anne Frank Story Is Now A Graphic Novel

K.W. — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 14:00:38 +0000

Anne Frank

The Diary of Anne Frank has been a literary staple throughout middle schools across America, if not the world. This is mostly because it’s one of the most heart-wrenching biographical stories ever known and it’s from a young girl‘s perspective. Now the Anne Frank House Museum is hoping to bring Frank’s tragic story beginning with her 13th birthday and ending with her death in a Nazi concentration camp to an even wider audience by launching it in the graphic novel medium.

Spokeswoman Annemarie Bekker is saying that the publication is aimed at teenagers that might not read Anne Frank’s diary.

Let’s not get confused. This isn’t an exact version of The Diary of Anne Frank in graphic novel form. This is more of a biography of Anne Frank being told through the graphic novel medium. American author Sid Jacobson and artist Ernest Colón were at the helm in its creation. Both Jacobson and Colón were co-producers of the best-selling graphic novel The 9/11 Commission Report.

The book has already published a Dutch edition in the Netherlands, which makes sense, seeing as how the Anne Frank House is in Amsterdam. But don’t worry, publisher Hill & Wang will launch the graphic novel in the U.S. later this July. Copies for Great Britain will be published through MacMillan in the fall. German, French and Italian translations are also planned to be released as soon as possible.

Personally, I’m very interested to see a final version and how it compares to the diary. But since I’m in the U.S., I’m just going to have to wait.

For more information head on over to the official Anne Frank House website for more details.

[via Associated Press]

Borders Offers Free eBooks To Increase Downloads of Apps

K.W. — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 14:00:39 +0000

Borders' logo borderlines on boring.

Well just look at who’s lagging behind. In news that made me think, “Borders still exists?” the company is attempting to get more downloads for its free mobile and desktop applications by offering five free e-books, along with content that is apparently exclusive to the company.

Since Friday, Borders has been offering boring titles like Dean Koontz’s Frankenstein: The Prodigal Son and Michael Scott’s The Alchemyst (sadly, not Steve Carell’s character, but from the book’s synopsis, it probably could have been written by him). And for fans of books about fat-fighting, they’re also offering Master Your Metabolism by Jillian Michaels. There’s also exclusive content on books you’ll probably never read, like chapter 6 of Danielle Steel’s upcoming novel, Legacy, which will go on sale September 28.

Really? Offering the sixth chapter? That’s like me flipping through channels to stop on Starz! just to watch the scene in Die Hard where John McClane kills the first terrorist. Anyhow, this offer is supposed to go through Wednesday, July 14.

This promotion came to light right after Borders launched their e-book store and their BlackBerry, Android, iPad and iPhone e-reading applications. With Amazon and Barnes & Noble being the major competitors in the market for e-book domination, we’ll see if this can keep Borders in the game.

[via TechCrunch]

Terry Pratchett Prize Offers Publishing Deal, £20,000

K.W. — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 20:17:04 +0000

Terry Pratchett: Writer of great works. Wearer of goofy-ass hats.

Are you a writer that lives in the UK, Republic of Ireland, or any other country of the British Commonwealth?

If so, science fiction/fantasy literary wizard Terry Pratchett is offering £20,000 along with a publishing deal with Random House, calling it the Terry Pratchett Prize.

How can I receive this unimaginatively-titled prize from such an insanely imaginative writer, you ask? Well, there are stipulations of course.

One must write a complete and previously unpublished work of fiction aimed at adult readers with its size ranging from 80,000 to 150,000 words. But, it can’t just be any piece of fiction.

From Sir Terry Pratchett himself, the work must be about, “Anywhere but here, anywhen but now.” What he means by that is, “…the story must be theoretically possible on some version of the past, present or future of a planet Earth.” The deadline has been set for December 31, 2010.

There are lots of other terms and conditions that I hope you would go and check out for yourself over at Terry Pratchett’s website, especially if you plan on entering the competition. Because I don’t plan on typing all of that legal whatnotery. Not today…NOT EVER!

Since I’m immediately disqualified from the competition due to Terry Pratchett’s discrimination against my geographical location (AKA: Being a geocist), I’ll give everyone that hasn’t even begun thinking about what to write for their story a few starter ideas:

PAST: Egyptian burial techniques are successful in merging the afterlife with their time period.
PRESENT: George W. Bush tacks another couple of terms on to his presidency because he didn’t think that switching presidents during wartime would be that great of an idea (in the vein of Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s term-tackin’).
FUTURE: Google somehow becomes the New World Order.

I didn’t say they were going to be good. I was just giving you starter ideas, you unappreciative twits!

Whoops. Sorry for the outburst. No one could have possibly said anything about the quality of the ideas since I have just written them. My bad.

Libraries Put Themselves in Consumers’ Paths with Mall Locations

K.W. — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 14:00:33 +0000

This library's dress code requires males to wear creased khakis and navy blue sweater vests, whereas females must wear tan pant suits.

Shoplifters rejoice! Libraries nationwide are trying to reintroduce communities to their local library by placing them in shopping malls. Now shoplifters can not only receive free items when they go to the mall, but they can receive them without having to stick them in their baggy JNCO jeans underneath their oversized New York Rangers jerseys!

In Dallas’ NorthPark Center, Bookmarks, a library for kids 12 and under, has been a huge hit by offering alternative access to families that might not make a trip to the public library. Due to the success, the strategy is beginning to be used by librarians nationwide to push books that have been neglected for far too long back into spotlight.

Sari Feldman, president of the Public Library Association, a division of the American Library Association, has said that the tactic is a focus on convenience. Feldman says, “How do we make the public library as convenient as Amazon, Netflix? Part of that is putting library branches in the path of customers.”

“We are very aware of the fact that our biggest advantage is that we’re free, but if time is actually a commodity for people, will people be willing to spend money rather than go to a library?” Feldman adds.

With libraries’ strategies being focused more on convenience, some libraries have gone as far as to build cafés, install drive-through windows and provide downloadable books.

The American Library Association doesn’t have an official number of how many libraries are in malls or shopping centers, but they estimate a little over two dozen such branches.

Library attendance is on the upswing, with the Institute of Museum and Library Services recording an almost 20% increase of attendance from 1999 to 2008. So, as the economy has faltered, many libraries have seen consistent growth, according to Larra Clark, project manager in the Library Association’s office for Research and Statistics.

The tactic of placing libraries in shopping malls is nothing new. The strategy was implemented as early as the 1960s, but now more affordable rent may make this a move that’s even easier for library branches to segue into, as a large number of vacant shops have popped up in malls and shopping venues nationwide.

For Bookmarks in Dallas, the owners of NorthPark paid for the mall space to be converted into a library and only charge $1 a year for rent. The library’s programs are sponsored by a local energy company.

Hopefully this new plan (along with Dolly’s plan) will grow and find its way into your town.

[via Yahoo! News]

New Study Suggests It Takes Longer to Read on iPad Than on Paper

K.W. — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 14:00:38 +0000

Thing from the Addams Family reading on his Kindle

If there’s one true thing written in this post, it’s this: new technology tends to make us dumber/lazier. And it usually gives us cancer of some kind. Trust me. I have a knack for medical things. I once watched an episode of E.R. in a doctor’s waiting room. If that’s not medical credibility, then I don’t know what is.

But even though our technology is attempting to give our brains a kick in the keister via the burgeoning e-reader market, apparently we still won’t be able to absorb written material any better than we would using physical texts.

According to a recent study done by Dr. Jakob Nielsen of the Nielsen Norman Group, reading on paper is faster than on an electronic reading tablet. Dr. Nielsen compared the reading times of 24 users on the Kindle, the iPad, a PC monitor and actual paper. The study showed that reading on an electronic tablet was up to 10.7% slower than reading a printed book. But, Nielsen found that the readers preferred reading on an e-reader rather than the paper book. All of the test subjects hated reading on the computer monitor. As they should.

The 24 users were selected as people who “like reading and frequently read books.” The subjects each read different short stories by Ernest Hemingway on all four platforms. They were measured for their reading speeds and story comprehension. It took each user an average of 17 minutes and 20 seconds to read a story regardless of the platform. Also, comprehension levels were similar on all four reading formats. But, Nielsen said that the book was the best in terms of speed. The subjects read 6.2% slower on the iPad and 10.7% slower on the Kindle.

Nielsen didn’t even bother sharing the statistics on the reading time of the PC monitor, more than likely because each user stopped reading, took their glasses off, pinched the bridge of their nose with their index finger and thumb, and exclaimed, “Fuck this. I’m getting a damn headache.”

Despite these statistics, I’ve used the Kindle and enjoyed reading on it. I still haven’t used an iPad, but I’m eventually hoping to do so. But when reading, I’m sure I’ll always enjoy a physical copy of a book more than an e-reader. Well, that’s because I’m a literary snob.

I can’t help it. The first thing I show guests when they come over to my house are my bookcases. I make them linger around the room for at least 30 minutes. They don’t get bored, though. I hand out sheets of paper with a list of phrases that I force them to say while staring at my books.

Guests are so nice. They’re always saying, “Wow! Your large collection of books certainly reflects your vast intelligence!” and, “I am simply marveled…MARVELED!” But, again, that’s just because I make them.

[via PCWorld]

15 Year Old Publishes Book, Causes Me to Weep for Myself

K.W. — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 14:00:58 +0000

Ehi Ike's Taken Away

Ehi Ike, a 15-year-old author that has gotten a book published before my five years of attempts to do so, is getting ready for a local book-signing tour this summer to promote Taken Away, her first published novel under Tate Publishing.

The 15-year-old Ike finds no irony in saying that it has been her childhood dream to become a published author. After writing the manuscript in eighth grade, Ehi researched publishers online and submitted it to Tate Publishing on her own, much like I have done to no avail. Taken Away‘s story was inspired by an eighth grade history lesson on the Trail of Tears.

The novel is about a 14-year-old girl named Mimi, who is taken away by the government after Congress passes a law that children from lower-income families are to be plucked from their parents’ care. Mimi and other child captives eventually discover that they are to be killed (I guess as a means to depopulate the planet?) so they must escape the clutches of their captors.

Though Ike’s publishing of her novel at such a young age is yet another blow to my writing ego, she has chosen to have a portion of the proceeds from her book sales go toward autism research, which is obviously a great thing. Head over to the link at the beginning of the post and get yourself, two family members, your dog and your closest friend a copy.

Hopefully she’ll have enough left over in profits that she can donate to my foundation: The Wizards of Ralch: Doom’s Dreams Needs to Be Published Soon, Otherwise I Have to Go Back to Work at the Car Wash to Take Spare Change from Strangers’ Cup Holders in Order to Make Ends Meet.

Yeah, my foundation’s name needs some work, but its acronym is pretty easy to remember.

[via The Commercial Appeal]

Truman Capote Balls ‘Til He Falls

K.W. — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 18:29:45 +0000

Truman Capote disguised as the Elegant Lone Ranger

I hope that everyone’s 4th of July was as freedom-filled as mine. (I.E. vegan hot dogs, making tiny fireworks explode, growing over 200 feet tall and punching the Statue of Liberty in the face because I have the freedom to do so)

But, the publishing industry is in its decline and I know why: Authors and poets of our era don’t have proper throw downs!

I say this in reference to Truman Capote’s Masked Black & White Ball in 1966. And judging from pictures of the event, Capote knew how to throw it down. The party was in celebration of the commercial success and critical acclaim his classic novel, In Cold Blood, received.

There are so many stories as to how the event came to be and what went on during the party, that I will merely give you the framework.

Murphy Brown, disguised as Candice Bergen, looks uncomfortable, as she vacantly stares and holds a creepy rabbit mask at Capote's Black & White Ball.

Capote held the event in New York City’s Plaza Hotel’s ball room. He limited attendance to 540 guests and in doing so made everyone with any semblance of fame at the time clamor over receiving an invitation to the event. Each individual invited to the party was hand-selected by Truman Capote, himself. The final guest list was filled with top-tier socialites, Hollywood celebrities, artists, authors, and politicians.

Mia Farrow and husband Frank Sinatra look like they aren't having a good time.

The event garnered more media attention than expected. Something that most private parties of the time didn’t receive.

All in all, after the ball was over, Capote solidified himself as one of the social elites.

Norman Mailer just looks drunk.

So if authors of our era would just shamelessly promote themselves at public events more often, rather than waste their time focusing on crafting brilliant, classic pieces of literature, maybe the publishing industry could make enough money back to become as profitable as the music industry. *stage hand comes out of nowhere to whisper in my ear* What? The major record labels have almost gone completely under, too? Well. Shit.

[via The Selvedge Yard]

The AIGA Judges Books By Their Covers

K.W. — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 14:00:33 +0000

The Beats: A Graphic History edited by Paul Buhle

Illiterate? I know I am. This post’s text is generated through a new voice-activated text-creation program called Jerkifier™. It works by having the user say what they want typed into their computer’s microphone and then the program does the rest. Jerkifier’s™ distinction from other voice-activated text-creation software comes from its uncanny ability to turn whatever you say into text that makes you sound like an ass. Since the creation of Jerkifier™ I’ve lost $700,000, but have gained infinite wisdom in the art of seduction. See? The program works, you clod!

And since your illiteracy has affected your ability to read great works of literature, the AIGA (The Professional Association for Design, originally known as the American Institute of Graphic Arts) gathered a jury and decided to hold a competition where 800 book submissions got whittled down to be chosen as the Top 50 Book Covers of 2009. The AIGA selected books from the entire literary spectrum, from fiction to non-fiction, graphic novels to poetry, science fiction to craft manuals, etc. The selections will be mounted as a public exhibition at the AIGA National Design Center in New York in December 2010. I’ve displayed a few of my favorites below, but each cover has artwork that is certainly worth giving a gander, so check out the Top 50 link to view the list in its entirety.

The Craftsman by Richard Sennett

The Four Fingers of Death by Rick Moody

Procession of the Dead by Darren Shan

Can you think of any books that didn’t make the cut? If so, shout ‘em out in the comments section. If not, just shout.

[via EW's Shelf Life]

Presenting Your New U.S. Poet Laureate: W.S. Merwin

K.W. — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 19:47:50 +0000

2010-2011 U.S. poet laureate, W.S. Merwin

Kay Ryan’s time as U.S. poet laureate is up. It’s time for W.S. Merwin to start shakin’ thangs up a bit (but probably not too much).

According to the Los Angeles Times’ book blog, Jacket Copy, the Library of Congress has recently announced that W.S. Merwin will be the 2010-2011 U.S. poet laureate. Merwin is in his 82nd year on this planet and has won two Pulitzer Prizes and has received the National Book Award. Born in New York, but raised in Philadelphia and New Jersey, William Stanley Merwin admits that he didn’t even start reading and writing poetry until, “…[he] had received scholarship and gone away to the university…” Merwin attended Princeton where he studied with the great poet, John Berryman.

Merwin has been a writer for more than 60 years and claims that writing poetry can only be successful if one listens. He says, “It’s like making a joke. If you get one word wrong at the end of a joke, you’ve lost the whole thing.” Quite frankly, I’ve never looked at it from that perspective, but it makes perfect sense.

I’ve selected a short poem of W.S. Merwin’s to display his great skill in poetics:

For the Anniversary of My Death

Every year without knowing it I have passed the day
When the last fires will wave to me
And the silence will set out
Tireless traveller
Like the beam of a lightless star

Then I will no longer
Find myself in life as in a strange garment
Surprised at the Earth
And the love of one woman
And the shamelessness of men
As today writing after three days of rain
Hearing the wren sing and the falling cease
And bowing not knowing to what

Being Drunk Don’t Make Good Words Get Writed

K.W. — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 18:29:38 +0000

You pour that sweet, sweet mind-juice so well, Hemingway.

Ah, drugs and alcohol. Man’s best friend through all of the good times (“Got a 7¢ raise at work! Yippee! Celebration ahoy!”) and all of those bad times (“Can’t believe my damn wife ditched me for my truck.”). For most of us, they’re even there for you in between those times (Timmy’s little league championship game).

But apparently my 8th grade English teacher was wrong. Neither make you a better writer.

According The Independent, drunk writers were better writers when they were sober. Many of the greatest artists and writers were famous for their substance abuse, but their greatest works weren’t created under the influence. Dr. Iain Smith, an addiction expert from Gartnavel Royal Hospital in Glasgow said, “The reason why this myth is so popular is the allure of the substances, and the fact that many artists need drugs to cope with their emotions. Artists are, in general, more emotional people.”

“The idea that drugs and alcohol give artists unique insights and powerful experiences is an illusion,” Dr. Smith adds. “When you try to capture the experiences [drugs and alcohol induce] they are often nonsense.” He goes on to say that when drugs and alcohol are used, one’s memory is often wiped, making it hard to remember anything that occurred while in that state of mind.

For example, some of mankind’s greatest artists and writers were addicted to various substances. Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald and William Faulkner had three things in common: (1) They were great writers. (2) They all received the Nobel Prize in Literature. (3) They all were alcoholics. Pablo Picasso did opium! Vincent van Gogh drank absinthe profusely!

Well, Dr. Iain Smith, if that even is your real name, it’s time for me to prove you wrong!

Later, after eight beers and two shots of whiskey…

Eye dunnoh whut thaht docter is about! He jellus of…alllll…*hiccup*…talents eye got. See?! Eye drink good and right good!

JerkBurger

Anne Frank Story Is Now A Graphic Novel

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